Beautiful you

My darling friend,

I feel your pain today. I wish I could take it away.

These last few months you've become like a butterfly... finally breaking free from your cocoon where you've been stifled and trapped for 10 years. And now they want to stuff you back into it. They'll surely break your wings if you let them.

When I look back I cannot recall a time I saw you looking so radiant and free-spirited. You have opened up in ways I never imagined you could, and allowed your beauty to shine through everything you do. Who would've thought my boss could become my best friend? And yet here we are... KhuboNet is a distant memory, and we are standing strong.

I wish i could hold your hand and say some magic word to make this all go away. You don't deserve to be bullied into a decision you're no where near ready to make. Can't they see?

I will be here for you. I will love you and stand beside you no matter what. Find the strength i know you have inside and don't let the world crush you. You're too beautiful to be broken.

Yesterday

Yesterday is the way I live.

I can't remember when it stopped being about tomorrow, but I can't seem to let go of all my yesterdays. I can't remember my bosses cell number which i dial on average 5 times a day. But i can remember what you smelt like that day. I can remember what he wore and what she said. It's a disease really. I sometimes even pretend i don't remember so people won't think i'm obsessed, when the truth is that I am. I am merely the sum of my memories. I cannot plan my future, only rehash my past.

I have tried to let go... and its not only the frilly, pretty memories either... i'm haunted by the bad things you did to me. The names they called me, the guilt i felt. If only the Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind was a reality. I'd pay for that. I'd give everything i have...

But then i wouldn't remember the day he was born. The first time he said i love you... and i'm right back where i started. Yesterday.